Hurting Over A Loved One
I received a letter from a woman who was hurting because of her mother. Her mother made a profession of faith as a child, but is not living for Christ and is very depressed. She wanted prayer and advice.
I would like to share my letter to her because I believe that many of you may be experiencing a similar situation. My response is below:
It is never easy witnessing to someone or sharing God's truth for their life and watching them ignore it. It is even more difficult when they are a loved one.
I can't count the number of youth and adults that I have shared God's truth with only to have them continue on the path that led them to depression and despair.
The answer to your question is simplistic, but not necessarily easy. You are only responsible for sharing truth with people, they are responsible for what they do with it. You are right; you can't force anything on them or make the decisions for them- no matter how much you want to.
God understands your pain, he experiences the same thing on a daily basis, watching those he created specifically to have a deep, intimate, personal relationship with him only to have them reject salvation, or watch those who are his children refuse to apply truths to their lives that would allow them to have the peace and joy he so desperately wants for them.
What is my advice? There are several things you can do:
1. Continue to invite her to church
2. Continue to share how God has blessed you. Be specific on what truth you have applied and the blessings that have resulted from it.
3. Send her tapes or CD's of sermons or teachings that you have heard that you feel will meet one of her needs.
4. Allow her to face the consequences of her actions. This is difficult, but necessary. If you rescue her you may be taking away her need that will draw her to God. Some people need to suffer more than others to recognize their need for God.
5. Don't allow her to guilt you. Real guilt comes from doing something wrong and it leads to repentance. False guilt consumes you and keeps you from moving forward spiritually. I don't know your mother, but she may use guilt in an attempt to get you to meet needs that only God can. If you try to meet those, you will always come up short.
6. Base your decisions concerning your mother on truth and not your emotions. Your emotions are easily manipulated, but truth is the only solid foundation.
7. Confide in and listen to your husband. God has given you a godly man as your partner in life. Pray for God to give him wisdom as he helps you through this.
8. Continue to pray. Pray for wisdom. Cast demons away from your mother in the name of Jesus. Pray for angels to surround and protect her. Pray for the Holy Spirit to speak to her, and pray that she begins to listen.
9. Find your peace in your obedience to God in this situation, not in your ability to effect change. It is your job to love, the Holy Spirit's job to convict, and your mother's job to submit and change. Remember your place.
Ultimately you will have to give her to God. Trust him and remember that He loves her more than you do.
Johnny Walker is a Christian Counselor and the Founder of Family Works Counseling. You can reach him at (770) 456-5547.
I would like to share my letter to her because I believe that many of you may be experiencing a similar situation. My response is below:
It is never easy witnessing to someone or sharing God's truth for their life and watching them ignore it. It is even more difficult when they are a loved one.
I can't count the number of youth and adults that I have shared God's truth with only to have them continue on the path that led them to depression and despair.
The answer to your question is simplistic, but not necessarily easy. You are only responsible for sharing truth with people, they are responsible for what they do with it. You are right; you can't force anything on them or make the decisions for them- no matter how much you want to.
God understands your pain, he experiences the same thing on a daily basis, watching those he created specifically to have a deep, intimate, personal relationship with him only to have them reject salvation, or watch those who are his children refuse to apply truths to their lives that would allow them to have the peace and joy he so desperately wants for them.
What is my advice? There are several things you can do:
1. Continue to invite her to church
2. Continue to share how God has blessed you. Be specific on what truth you have applied and the blessings that have resulted from it.
3. Send her tapes or CD's of sermons or teachings that you have heard that you feel will meet one of her needs.
4. Allow her to face the consequences of her actions. This is difficult, but necessary. If you rescue her you may be taking away her need that will draw her to God. Some people need to suffer more than others to recognize their need for God.
5. Don't allow her to guilt you. Real guilt comes from doing something wrong and it leads to repentance. False guilt consumes you and keeps you from moving forward spiritually. I don't know your mother, but she may use guilt in an attempt to get you to meet needs that only God can. If you try to meet those, you will always come up short.
6. Base your decisions concerning your mother on truth and not your emotions. Your emotions are easily manipulated, but truth is the only solid foundation.
7. Confide in and listen to your husband. God has given you a godly man as your partner in life. Pray for God to give him wisdom as he helps you through this.
8. Continue to pray. Pray for wisdom. Cast demons away from your mother in the name of Jesus. Pray for angels to surround and protect her. Pray for the Holy Spirit to speak to her, and pray that she begins to listen.
9. Find your peace in your obedience to God in this situation, not in your ability to effect change. It is your job to love, the Holy Spirit's job to convict, and your mother's job to submit and change. Remember your place.
Ultimately you will have to give her to God. Trust him and remember that He loves her more than you do.
Johnny Walker is a Christian Counselor and the Founder of Family Works Counseling. You can reach him at (770) 456-5547.
posted by Johnny Walker at 10:01 PM
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