Words That Destroy

“You are such a loser!” the larger boy taunted as the smaller child stood his ground trying to fight back the tears. The other children were already taking sides; maybe not physically, but their inaction spoke volumes as to what they believed, or so it seemed.

Some of the other boys started joining in, “Hey, loser! Get lost! We don’t need any wimps on our team!”

The child slowly turned, no longer able to fight back the tears, and began to run away in hopes that the others hadn’t seen him cry.

I will never understand how someone can absolutely belittle someone like that, but I do know that it occurs everyday all around the world. People who are hurting, insecure, and have a poor self image strike out at those around them thinking that if they can make someone feel worse than they do that somehow it will make them feel better.

Studies on bullying show that the reason bullies bully is because they have been bullied themselves. Perhaps it was an older brother, a neighbor or a parent. Through their victimization they learned to strike out first; hurt or be hurt becomes their motto.

Even though they are using words to emotionally destroy those around them they are really looking for some way to feel better about themselves. Knowing this explains why scripture says in Romans 12:20, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head,”

Jesus himself said that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. If we are to do good things and build up our enemies emotionally, how much more are we to do build up those around us?

You probably weren’t the bully in your school beating up kids on the playground, but everyone has hurt someone emotionally. In our pain we strike out at those around us. It may be in verbally or physically aggressive ways or it may be in passive aggressive ways such as withdrawing love and affection.

Can you think of a time that you have hurt someone? Maybe they deserved it, and maybe they didn’t, but as a Christian you are not called to take revenge, but to love. That is tough to do when you have been hurt.

If your action or inaction has hurt someone around you take the following steps: ask God to forgive you, ask the person to forgive you, and get busy building them up emotionally by doing good things for them and saying good things about them.

The results are amazing, because as you begin to build others up emotionally you will find that you are the one being built up. Don’t believe me? Start doing it and try to prove me wrong; I double dog dare you!

Johnny Walker is a Christian Counselor and the founder of Family Works Counseling. You can reach him at (770) 456-5547