The Holidays Commeth!
Even though it seems that everyone loves the holidays, this is not necessarily the case. There are many out there who dread the holidays approaching. For them they are not a reminder of happy times, but of sadness. Instead of making plans with loved ones, they look forward to sitting alone on those special days remembering what once was, or what could have been.
For these individuals trite sayings won’t fix their emotional pain. “Getting over it” isn’t an option, and “letting go, letting God” seems almost impossible as the hours of loneliness tick by.
What can cause this kind of depression during the holidays in otherwise normally functioning people?
A recent death. Do you know someone who has lost someone this past year or in the past several years? If you do, then you need to pay close attention to them during the holidays. Even though they may have years of wonderful memories to dwell upon, knowing that special person isn’t going to be cutting the turkey or opening presents this year is enough to send them into a deep depression.
A recent divorce. Dealing with a divorce can sometimes be as bad as dealing with the death of a loved one. Instead of there being a feeling of finality, there is a constant reminder of the loss when they see their former spouse with someone else. They may have to share the children during the holidays, increasing their sense of loss.
Bad memories. Some people haven’t had such joyous holidays in the past. Maybe a certain family member who they only saw on holidays molested them. Perhaps their parents showed favoritism to another sibling, or there was always discord or fighting during the holidays.
If you know someone who has a difficult time with the holidays or someone who has suffered a recent divorce or death of a loved one, make sure they have a place to go this year. Invite them to join your family for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. Have a small gift for them under your tree, and expect nothing in return.
There are two main actions that help people get through grief: one is time and the other is talking. We can’t control time, but we can be a listening ear for them to talk. Allowing them to tell stories of the past, good times or bad, help them to work through their grief.
Helping people to build new memories and being willing to listen to their pain are two of the greatest gifts we can give someone during the holidays. Who knows, your actions this year may completely change someone’s perspective of the holidays.
Johnny is a Christian counselor and the founder of Family Works Counseling. You can reach him at (770) 456-5547
For these individuals trite sayings won’t fix their emotional pain. “Getting over it” isn’t an option, and “letting go, letting God” seems almost impossible as the hours of loneliness tick by.
What can cause this kind of depression during the holidays in otherwise normally functioning people?
A recent death. Do you know someone who has lost someone this past year or in the past several years? If you do, then you need to pay close attention to them during the holidays. Even though they may have years of wonderful memories to dwell upon, knowing that special person isn’t going to be cutting the turkey or opening presents this year is enough to send them into a deep depression.
A recent divorce. Dealing with a divorce can sometimes be as bad as dealing with the death of a loved one. Instead of there being a feeling of finality, there is a constant reminder of the loss when they see their former spouse with someone else. They may have to share the children during the holidays, increasing their sense of loss.
Bad memories. Some people haven’t had such joyous holidays in the past. Maybe a certain family member who they only saw on holidays molested them. Perhaps their parents showed favoritism to another sibling, or there was always discord or fighting during the holidays.
If you know someone who has a difficult time with the holidays or someone who has suffered a recent divorce or death of a loved one, make sure they have a place to go this year. Invite them to join your family for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. Have a small gift for them under your tree, and expect nothing in return.
There are two main actions that help people get through grief: one is time and the other is talking. We can’t control time, but we can be a listening ear for them to talk. Allowing them to tell stories of the past, good times or bad, help them to work through their grief.
Helping people to build new memories and being willing to listen to their pain are two of the greatest gifts we can give someone during the holidays. Who knows, your actions this year may completely change someone’s perspective of the holidays.
Johnny is a Christian counselor and the founder of Family Works Counseling. You can reach him at (770) 456-5547
posted by Johnny Walker at 7:52 AM
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