Christmas Conflict

As Christmas approaches stress levels go up. The children’s stress level comes from the excitement of opening presents on Christmas day, and their parents are stressed from running from store to store to store in hopes of finding every item on their child’s wish list. (As the commercials tell us, “Nothing says ‘I love you’ like stuff!”)

Whether the stress is from positive sources or negative, they have a tendency to collide during the holidays. And then there is the dreaded day. It’s not that we don’t want to celebrate Christmas, we do! It’s figuring out where to celebrate it that becomes difficult.

Whose parent’s house do we go to this year? And how do we get all of the presents there? This may not be a big issue when you have one child, but the more arrows you add to your quiver, the bigger an issue it becomes.

Add to that your expectations of Christmas. Maybe you have this Christmas card image of what your holiday is going to be like. Unfortunately, the most well laid plans often don’t come together like we think they should. So, disappointment is added to our stress level.

Perhaps you don’t have in-laws, but “outlaws” instead. You don’t like them, they don’t like you, or both. There is another stressor that you can look forward to this holiday season.

My point is not to look like a scrooge here, but to be realistic. Hopefully you are not experiencing all of the stressors I mentioned, but you are probably facing some of them. And we need to realize that if we don’t handle our stress in appropriately, we often wind up frustrated, hurt, angry and disappointed during a season that is supposed to be about love, giving and joy.

Here are a few tips that may help ease your stress level during the Christmas season:

1. Take time for yourself- Whether it’s a bubble bath or a few hours out in the woods, taking time to do things that please you will help!

2. Take time for your marriage- Put all of the hustle and bustle aside and go out on a date. (Christmas shopping with the wife doesn’t count guys!)

3. Be flexible- Don’t demand it all be done the way your family has always done it; be willing to compromise.

4. Create new traditions- Creating new ones can be as special as keeping old ones!

5. Sing- It sounds silly, but when I feel a little “scrooge-ish” singing a fun Christmas carol can help put me back in the holiday spirit.

6. Count your blessings- Stop focusing on what you don’t have, and focus on what you do have!

7. Remember the reason for the season- I know it has become a cliché, but it is too important to forget! We are celebrating Jesus’ birth, a process of grace that ended in great sacrifice for you!

Have a Merry Christmas; or don’t! It’s your choice! You choose the attitude you want to have. I hope yours is a happy one!

Johnny Walker is a Christian Counselor and the founder of Family Works Counseling. You can reach him at (770) 456-5547